The 8 Unique Expressions of Love
Just like light passing through a prism to cast a rainbow, the force of Love can be dispersed into 8 distinct, but interconnected, expressions. Increasing your knowledge of these different expressions can increase not only your empowerment when it comes to manifesting love in your life, but also your enjoyment of just how rich, vast, and boundless true love can be!
Throughout life, we each will experience love. But is it all the same kind of love, stemming from the same source? Or are there unique expressions of love unique to the type of relationship? I believe these are important questions to ponder personally. Because while we can know all we want about love and how love is supposed to feel, it is only through your direct, lived experience, and often the adventure, of being the vessel for Love that you can actually know what it is and what it’s truly like.
And what we will find, each in our own way and in our own time, is that Love has many shades.
The Greek were aware of these varying degrees, or “flavors,” of love. And rather than modifying or qualifying these different expressions of love through adjectives (e.g., romantic love, friendly love, family love, etc.), they simply created separate words for each of them, just like the way we identify red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet as distinct colors or frequencies of visible light. There is a spectrum of Love!
Here is a list of 8 of those words the Greek used to describe the different expressions, or correspondences, of Love, along with a brief description to assist you in discerning each of them more clearly in your life!
EROS {err-ohs}
Strong sexual attraction, passion, arousal, and the primal desire to unite as one and create. This is a fiery, combustive experience, which can be scary at times because it feels like you’re losing control. But therein is also the delicious exhilaration of surrendering and letting go and allowing the power of Eros to fill you and overtake you, like the freefall of bungee jumping or descending from the peak of a rollercoaster. When you feel “sparks” or physical “chemistry” in a relationship, you are tapping into Eros.
PHILIA {fill-ee-ah}
Deep, lasting love found particularly between friends. And not just any friends, but your close inner circle of friends to whom you feel loyalty, camaraderie, and a strong, platonic affection. Brotherly or Sisterly Love exceptionally rich in kindness, mutual support, and goodwill. We may also experience this when we meet Soul Family or Tribe, where even though we just met the person, we feel a compelling connection to them that transcends time and space. We can also experience this love with our pets. If you have a close friend that is a “ride or die” friend for whom you would go above and beyond and make sacrifices in order to uphold your bond, you are tapping into Philia.
STORGE {store-gay}
Familial love exemplified between parents and children, but also extending to grandparents, relatives and other family members. Like the saying, “blood is thicker than water,” there is a special and powerful quality of connection that we feel with the family we are born into. Whether or not we “like” our family, there is a love that is always there. When you can transcend the idea of loving your family as an obligation and can tap into the warmth, appreciation, and gratitude to your family, especially for sacrifices they have made on your behalf, you are tapping into Storge.
LUDUS {loo-dis}
Playful, euphoric, carefree love. This can be associated with the early “Honeymoon” stages of romantic relationships where there’s plenty of flirting, teasing, and enjoying the magnetic dynamics of courting one another. Not to be confused with Eros, this expression of love is about the exciting adventure of finding someone who reciprocates your feelings with whom you feel compatible. When you feel the giddiness and butterflies in the stomach when you’re around a romantic partner, or even when you’re simply thinking of them, you’re tapping into Ludus.
MANIA {mah-nee-ah}
Obsessive, uncontrollable, dysfunctional love. This manifests when we seek love to complete us, to fill a void, to prove that we’re worthy of being loved, or to bandage a wound from our past that has not healed. Thus, this expression of love can lead easily to jealousy, manipulation, being clingy and needy, codependency, and abuse. If you feel desperate, insecure, and emotionally exhausted in a relationship, you’re tapping into Mania. Note: If you research the Greek words for Love, this word is not always cited. But I felt it important to include it to illuminate that there’s a shadow side to love when misdirected and distorted.
PRAGMA {prahg-mah}
The Wisdom of Love gained and earned over time. This enduring love is revealed through traveling the ups and downs together and choosing to stay together, through the joys and the sorrows, especially when the going gets tough. What’s important here is the consistent united commitment from both individuals to support one another, make compromises, and seek a deeper understanding and honor of one another. When Eros and Ludus fade or become less frequent, the stability of Pragma is what carries relationships over the long haul. When you feel a deep, soul love for someone as your romantic companion and ally in life, you’re tapping into Pragma.
PHILAUTIA {fill-a-oh-tee-ah}
Pure self-love, acceptance, and compassion. Not to be confused with self-absorption and arrogance, this is loving yourself as the template for how you love others. As you open yourself to loving yourself, especially the parts that believe to be unlovable or unworthy, you yourself will become more loving and accepting of others, which creates the opportunity for others to then be more loving and accepting of you. When you feel a sacred love, respect, and unfiltered adoration of Self that comes from deep within and is independent of your external circumstances (e.g. your weight, age, relationship status, job, # of followers on social media etc.), you are tapping into Philautia.
AGAPE {ah-gah-pay}
Unconditional, Universal Love from Spirit/Creator/God/dess that has no bounds, no limits, and is in and for All. Unlimited empathy and compassion, a supreme loving kindness that always leads us towards Divine Truth. This is the pure energy of the Christ Consciousness and the Force of Love beyond our comprehension. To tap into this expression of love, we must explore selflessness, or more specifically no self, meaning no separation from within yourself, no separation from others, no separation with all things in Nature and the Universe, and no separation from God. When you feel an outpouring of Love flowing through you as an instrument of God’s Heart here on Earth, whether it be through giving of your time or resources, giving thanks for all the blessings in your life, or seeing your own reflection as a Divine, Eternal being in the eyes of another, you are tapping into Agape. It is God’s immeasurable and immaculate Love!
Remember the rainbow of light dispersed the prism of water droplets in the air? All of those distinct colors and frequencies are interwoven and interrelated in the range of visible light. And so it is with these 8 expressions of Love. So in bringing your awareness to them, I hope you may increase your ability to enhance the presence and your enjoyment of Love in your life. To make your experience of Love more tangible, more well-rounded, more visible, and more aligned with the experience of Love - both in giving and receiving - that you want and desire.
Love is the most powerful Force in all the Universe and we are the vessel. So let us strive to embody the Force responsibly with precision, clarity, and confidence. And let us be the Love that we wish to see in the World.
