Allowing Yourself to be Seen
Ever looked into someone's eyes and found yourself wanting to either look away or burst into laughter to ease the tension? It's not easy to see eye to eye. To see someone else as they are and to allow yourself to be seen as you are is a beautiful and precious gift. But we don't get there overnight - we must practice.
A practice that begins within.
Have you ever considered that perhaps the reason you don’t, or won’t, see eye to eye with someone is because one, or both, of you doesn’t want to be seen? When tensions arise in relationships, even tension we might consider positive, it’s easy to to take it personally and make it about the other person and how they’re making you feel. But by doing so, we create distance from the life lesson of that tension and what it can illuminate for us. That the way others see us, and most importantly how we perceive what they see and the feelings, emotions, traumas, and meaning we associate with it, is not actually about them - it’s about us.
This brings into focus the ways in which we may not want to be seen or acknowledged.
The parts of us we reject and punish.
The inner child we build walls around.
The masks we wear to hide who we really are.
The lies we perpetuate about ourselves to avoid rejection and conflict in our relationships and create "peace."
Our strategies of distracting others from seeing our perceived flaws and weaknesses.
How we diminish, or distort, the light in order to disappear and not take up too much space.
These are just some of the reasons it's so hard to let ourselves be seen. And left unchecked, these reasons and programs get stronger and more compelling, making it even more difficult, and some might even say "impossible," to see eye to eye.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
Seeing eye to eye IS a tense experience by nature. A necessary tension, like the bow against the strings of a violin, that can spark movement, create change, and promote flow. And it's tense because it's an act of surrender. Consciously facing your subconscious and all the reasons you’ve collected over your life as to why you need that guard up! Reasons that likely served a positive purpose in the moment, but over time, no longer serve that positive purpose and can actually prevent you from connecting in relationship. Connecting on a deeper, more meaningful level - a Soul level - and revealing the essence of your true nature not just to the other person, but to yourself as well.
It's an alchemy that purifies away the falsehoods and defense mechanisms that fuel our disconnection and reminds us that we're actually not so different after all. Underneath our opinions and differences in perspective, there lies a oneness that nullifies our attempts to divide and exclude one another. A knowing that through seeing eye to eye, we affirm that all harm I do to you, I do unto myself, and conversely, all acceptance and empowerment I share with you, I also share with myself. A powerful reflection, like an eternity mirror, that reminds us of our infinite Spiritual nature and authentic essence. The great I Am.
So taking all this into consideration, when it's hard to see eye to eye with others, which it is, instead of making it about them, try making it about yourself. Make it personal in the sense of accepting personal responsibility to allow the mirror of the relationship to serve you in addressing questions like these:
What blocks my vision/perception from seeing and expressing myself for who I truly am?
In what ways am I resisting healing through relationship with others and avoiding learning from my reflection?
How am I defending my triggers and warding off the possibility of unlearning old patterning and programming to potentially reveal, and surrender to, greater truths about myself?
Can I love myself enough to break down my walls and remove the masks that disconnect me from myself, others, and God, and then find the compassion to help others do the same?
And if these questions start to overwhelm me, can I be humble enough to ask for the help I want and need?
Seeing eye to eye and learning to overcome the fear of being seen is far from easy, but that doesn't mean it's not worth doing. In fact, the difficulty of it, from my perspective, actually points to its worth and it's need in this time we're living through now.
So start with your own eyes. Start with yourself. Accept personal responsibility and accountability to heal and do your inner work to free yourself from within. And be aware that it won’t be easy and won’t come naturally at first, and you’ll have ups and downs and days where it’s hard to not live on autopilot and let the subconscious take the wheel. But that is part of the journey of learning and growing, and why it’s a practice. A practice of not giving up on yourself. A practice of self-love and self-compassion. A practice in remembering, accepting, and expressing, who you truly are. A practice in unveiling the staggering beauty of your true Divine nature.
A practice of returning home, together, to Oneness.
