Emptying your Cup

In the never ending search for meaning in life, it is important for us to continually learn.

From one perspective, this can imply endlessly collecting knowledge, asking questions, and consuming information. But there is another perspective wherein the way to learn is to empty yourself of knowledge, to listen more than you speak, and to consistently eliminate attachment to what you think you know.

This is a story about a Zen master and a scholar that illustrates this perspective:

There once was a Zen master known far and wide for his wisdom. People would travel great lengths to visit him and seek his guidance. And in return, he would serve them to attain enlightenment.

One day, a scholar came to visit the master. He was a very learned man and asked the master to teach him about Zen. As they spoke, the scholar continually interrupted the master and seemed more interested in displaying what he already knew about Zen and his opinions on it rather than allowing the master to teach him.

So the master suggested they have tea.

They sat at the table and as the scholar continued probing and asking questions, the master filled the cup of the scholar. But even after it had reached the brim, he continued pouring until it the hot tea was overflowing onto the scholar’s hands and onto his robe. The scholar yelled at the master, “Why do you keep pouring? Can you not see that my cup is already full?!??”

And the master replied kindly, “You are like the cup - so filled with ideas that nothing more can go in. Come back to me with an empty cup.”

Does the archetype of the scholar in this story remind you of anyone?

The scholar reminds me of me when I was younger, particularly when I was in grad school in the early 2000s. I had internalized that my value was inherently tied to what I knew. And so I sought to prove what I knew every chance I got. That even though I wasn’t athletic, the most talented, or the best looking, that I could still be valuable because I was smart. Thus, my intelligence and my intellect became a defense mechanism, and I built it like a wall around me to hide my insecurities and my fear of rejection and not being needed. So, like the scholar, I was prone to waiting to speak instead of actually listening and using my knowledge to assert my value and worth at the expense of those around me. I developed a “need” to be right, which often manifested in arrogance and a subconscious desire for others to be wrong in order to sustain and protect my self-image and my ego.

But now, thankfully, I view learning very differently.

This is an affirmation I use as a Kabbalist that reflects this view:

I know nothing.

I am nothing.

I bring nothing to the world.

Perhaps you’re thinking, “That is not affirming, Jonathan! Why would you say that to yourself?”

Let’s bring it back to the story of the Zen master and the scholar.

If I am the cup, as the master says, then it follows that when I am empty, only then can I be filled. In my emptiness of preconceived ideas, opinions, and expectations, I can then open myself to greater potential. Greater potential to know. Greater potential to be. Greater potential to bring even more to the world.

So in affirming that I am the empty cup, I am affirming that I am ready to learn and grow of my own free will. Ready to sacrifice the limits of my former identity and surrender myself to Higher Guidance that I may grow beyond the confines of what I think I know, who I think I am, and what I think my purpose to be in the world. Kabbalah can be translated to “that which is received,” and in my study and experience of ascending the Tree of Life, I learned that it is in asking the right questions that I prepare myself to receive the right answers.

What a relief it was for me to know that I don’t need to know all the answers! But if I do seek to know, as those who genuinely seek the Zen master for his guidance, and I am ready to receive answers, then I must acknowledge that I don’t know through presenting an empty cup that it ready to be filled and upon asking questions with humility and curiosity, allowing myself to listen and learn.

Photo by She of the Woods

So now let’s revisit my affirmation and read in between the lines:

I know nothing (so that I may know all things).

I am nothing (so that I may be all things).

I bring nothing to this world (so that I may bring all things to this world).

I empty myself (of all limits) so that I may know myself (to be unlimited as I Am)!

In the past, if you were to tell me to say, “I know nothing” or “I am nothing” I would have laughed in your face, perceived you as the aggressor, and ricocheted back a passive aggressive statement to put you in your place. But today, I am excited to say, “I know nothing” and “I am nothing” and I affirm it confidently with gratitude and celebration. Because it’s been quite a journey to get here! Breaking down the walls of my own making and peeling off the masks of my personality that took decades to craft. Unearthing the past misunderstandings, traumas, and uncomfortable emotions that I had successfully stuffed down and then choosing to bring them all to the light so they can heal and stop running my life from behind the scenes. And no longer emphasizing what I know to hide what I don’t know and now highlighting what I don’t know (yet) in order that I may seek to know even more. It’s a significant paradigm shift and it definitely doesn’t happen overnight! But it also doesn’t have to take as long as you think. And the the only way to get there? Is to begin.

So in what ways can you begin to shift your own perspective on learning? From approaching life as a cup filled to the brim that can no longer be filled to an empty cup that can no longer be emptied, ready to receive and be filled anew?

In these times we’re living through, filled with strife, conflict, and uncertainty, it’s an especially important question to reflect upon. There is nothing wrong with knowledge and seeking to know. But it must not be confused with the destination when it is only part of the journey. Do not allow knowledge to trap you from gaining wisdom. Instead, allow knowledge to free you to aspire to more!

For when any one of us changes the story and approaches the master with an empty cup, all of us will benefit. To fill our cup with what will serve a Higher Purpose and a Greater Good. To fill it with what can instill hope, joy, and faith in the experience of life. And once it is filled, to then empty it again with no attachment - just as freely as we enjoy a cup of tea until it is done - so that all of us will gain the power to continually grow wiser and into greater alignment with who we actually are.

“Empty your cup so that it may be filled: become devoid to gain totality.” - Bruce Lee

In this brief and magnificent life, we have the opportunity to know, learn, and experience so many wonderful things. What if emptying your cup empowered you to receive even more of it? What if?